


Fade Water

by accidentalapostate



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anger, Angst, Crestwood, Elves, F/M, Fade Sex, Frustration, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Trespasser, The Fade, The Veil (Dragon Age), mildly nsfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-12 01:05:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7078129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accidentalapostate/pseuds/accidentalapostate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Trespasser, Inquisitor Niamh Lavellan has dreams of her lover every night, but usually cannot reach him.  This time, she does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fade Water

Every night for the past year and a half since Niamh Lavellan encountered Solas at the Crossroads and learned of his true identity and his plans for the world, she had seen him in her dreams. He was always a spectral wolf, and was always just out of her reach, vanishing the moment she got to him. Every night she would wake up in a cold sweat with a knot in her chest that produced sobs of anguish when it released. The whole ordeal was beginning to drive her completely mad.

Tonight was different, however. When sleep took her she immediately found herself in a clearly defined spot, not the hazy, incorporeal waters in which she normally dreamt. No, she was in the Fade version of Crestwood, in that beautiful little cove where her world tumbled down as quickly as the waterfall nearby.

Her stomach churned as she recognized her location. Why was she here of all places? And why was it so clear? None of her dreams had been so vibrant and realistic since-- the truth dawned on her-- she and Solas had dreamt together. She stepped forward tenderly, so that the whole of the cove was visible. It was then that she saw him.

“Solas…” She uttered timidly as she approached the man standing in the Fade version of the Crestwood cove where he had set her free from the cruel meaning of the vallaslin and from himself.  At the time, she had not understood why he ran from her or why he told her he cared for her, but did not want to be with her.  Now, everything made more sense.

Solas turned around quickly as if he were startled and his eyes widened slightly before his expression relaxed into a calm yet pained expression, one that the Inquisitor had seen so very often.  He straightened his posture and crossed his arms behind his back, shifting his weight to one side.  It was comforting to see that despite him resuming the “Dread Wolf” title, he kept his mannerisms.

“Nia,” he hummed the nickname Dorian had given her years ago out of distaste for the odd pronunciation of ‘Niamh.’  Solas had become fond of it himself and often used it as a term of endearment. The fact that he was using the name still made the Inquisitor’s heart ache. “Full of surprises as ever,” Solas continued, “I did not expect to find you here.”

“Believe me it wasn’t on purpose,” Niamh stated dryly, “I do my best to avoid this place in my dreams because it does nothing but tear open wounds that are almost four years old now.”  She held her chin up and fought back the tears that brimmed the lower lids of her viridian green eyes.

“As do I,” Solas admitted, turning back to face the pool in the center of the cove, “Occasionally I visit to see the memory to remind myself of the pain selfishness causes.” He gazed into the water in thought.

Niamh shook her head bitterly in disbelief, the tears beginning to flow freely.  She looked down only to notice that her missing left arm was present here, which caused her momentary distraction as she flexed her wrist and wiggled her fingers with nostalgia. She had chased after Solas for over a year in the Fade, and now she comes across him so easily. Why?

“I have looked for you in my dreams for so long,” she whimpered, “Why now?”

“I did not intend for you to find me here.  I watch your dreams to ensure you are safe, but I never try to make contact due to the pain that would bring upon both of us,” the elf explained, his gaze still fixated upon the water. The explanation enraged the Inquisitor.  He only meant to watch her, but never to contact her to save them both pain?  Did he not know she could see him or was he only concerned about his own pain?  

“Ha. You say that as if my catching glimpses of you every night has not caused me pain,” Niamh commented tersely.

“You recognized me?” Solas asked, turning around once again, genuinely surprised, “I had hoped you would just overlook me as a wisp of faded memories.” A proud smile crossed his lips, “Well done, vhenan.”

She could no longer contain her frustration, and she threw herself into him in what appeared to be half-tackle, half-embrace.  Solas, unprepared, lost his balance and the two fell into the ankle-deep Fade water with a splash.

The Inquisitor had intended to tackle him, but had hoped to stagger him and had not anticipated the fall.  She now sat atop him, her clothing soaked, and her red hair wet and dripping. She clung to the matted furs he wore so hard that she shook and her knuckles turned white.

“Well done?  _ Well done _ ?” she shouted as she bore her weight down upon him. “ I see you every damn night, and every single night I chase after you only to have you vanish as I come close.  I wake up emotionally devastated every time, and  _ that _ is what you have to say to me?  I should think you would be sorry before you would be proud.” She kept her hold on his furs. 

“Nia, I--” Solas mumbled, defeatedly.

“Don’t you dare apologize to me now,” she continued in a growl, interrupting him, “Do you know how many times I have considered the Rite?”  She looked at him, her angry scowl softening into a hurt frown, her lower lip trembling involuntarily.

“The Rite? Tranquility? Nia, you cannot be serious,” Solas yelled in complete horror, “You know what that does to you! You know what that would be like!”

“Oh, I know,” she whispered through her tears, her grasp on his garments loosening,“And there are some days where I would welcome existing as a husk if it meant not being taunted by images of what I cannot have.”  She released her hold on him entirely to cup her face in her hands, shaking violently as she sobbed.

Solas had no words that could express the what he felt at her admission.  He sat up so that she was on his lap, her legs crossed behind him. He weaved his arms under hers, to encircle her in a tight embrace.  He could feel her trembling beneath his touch.  She was both stronger and more fragile than when he had last held her.  

Niamh had nearly calmed down when she realized what she was doing, what she was letting herself fall back into.  She jerked back out of his arms abruptly, and shoved him back down into the puddle. “ _ Fenedhis _ stop doing that to me,” she commanded, attempting to stand and walk away.  

The man beneath her, quickly grasped her arm and tugged her down to him, crushing his lips against hers heedlessly.  His lips were soft and warm as she remembered them, and he tasted exactly the same.  He was still intoxicating.  She deepened the kiss without hesitation, running her tongue across his lower lip before tugging it roughly with her teeth, producing a growl from his throat.

Before she knew what was happening, Solas had tipped her backward, so that he was now hovering over her.  Her untied red locks flowed in the water beneath her.  He looked at her luridly, a fiery heat emanating from his ice blue eyes. He interlocked his fingers with hers and slid her arms back above her head, pinning them down to the muddy ground beneath them.  He kissed her again on the lips then moved down to her neck, biting playfully at her pulse point  and smirking when he heard a soft moan escape her chest.

She was well aware what was happening and she was angered by it all. She knew she should stop, wake up, and resume her life without him. For all she knew this was not even really him but a projection of him from her subconscious, but -  _ damn-  _ he felt so real. The years without him suffocated her, and she was not willing to miss the chance to breathe again, even if it was stuffy Fade ‘air.’

He seemed to have none of the restraint he had shown before. She saw past every wall he had built up to keep her out. She saw past Fen’Harel, past disgruntled apostate, past every single mask that was not him. She saw Solas for once.

Even as he pulled her up onto his lap, and even as he brazenly slid his hand up under the nightgown she wore, she could sense that he was terrified. The strong exterior was just a facade that was brittle enough to snap of pressure were applied in the right place. He did not want to be alone anymore, but he felt he had no choice.

Her eyes locked with his and a bittersweet message passed between them. Then passion took hold of the both of them. She raised her arms so that he could remove her gown, which was swiftly pulled up and off and thrown to the side. His attire had more components and layers for Niamh to fumble with.

She grunted in frustration. He tried to help, but she was not having it, she needed his hands elsewhere, and he took the hint when she shooed them away as she finally got the last cinches undone and could tear his clothes from him easily, and so she did.

The next few moments were a whirlwind. Their bodies entangled in a sordid dance, one moment he led, then she. From afar it would have looked like a fight, a struggle for power. The sound of water splashing meshed with guttural growls and obscene moans.

Niamh found herself hurdling over the edge first, and he shortly after upon feeling her seize around him. The two lay, still a bundle of limbs trying to catch their breath. Niamh began to laugh in disbelief, and Solas joined in too, as it really was hard to believe that even after so long, the emotions were so powerful. That even in the Fade, physicality felt so real.

The two parted, and lay side-by-side on their backs. Her Fade-created left hand interlocked with his right hand. The cool water just deep enough to touch the tips of their ears.

Solas tilted his head to the side to look at his love, first in amazement, but the realization that they would have to wake up came to the surface. He frowned.

“What is it?,” Niamh asked, concern resonating in her voice as she rolled onto her side and propped herself up with her elbow so she could look at him directly. “What’s wrong, Solas.”

“I was trying to find some way memorize you, this moment,” he said thinly, “Waking will not be so empty then.” He reached out and touched her face, and a single tear rolled down his cheek.

Solas’ words made her remember that she was asleep and her chest began to ache. Her breathing became shallow as she shook the urge to sob. She wiped the tear from his face, and smiled painfully.

“If you weren't so stubborn, waking up wouldn't have to be lonely at all,” she asserted through sniffles. Tears were now freely flowing from her eyes.

“Vhenan…. Believe me I want nothing more than-.”

“Duty calls. I know,” she interrupted, “Please just spare me.” She had her index finger on his lips, and she shook her head. He gave her a sorrowful expression.

“I am sorry,” he stated firmly.

“I know that, too,” she said softly, adding, “ I know you screwed up ages ago. I know you feel you have to correct it. I know you woke up feeling sad and alone and saw no hope. You want to restore the world to the way it was before.

“Consider this: It's not your world anymore. It is not yours to screw up and fix. Sure, maybe at one point in time it was, but you made your bed and you slept in it. The world is ours now. It belongs to those of us who exist with the veil intact. We are real, we are intelligent, and it is not your place to decide our fates for us.

“I know that you feel alone and out of place, but that is entirely your fault. You had people, people who looked out for you, people who liked you, and who looked up to you. Hell, you even had a few people who called you friend. You had me and you still do. You would still have every single one of us, if you would just come to your senses.”

The Inquisitor finished her rant breathlessly, still crying heavily. She locked eyes with her lover, and saw the same mournful expression he always gave when he was going to completely disregard everything she said.

“But, that is out of the question for you,” she added as she scooted closer to him and laid down so they were facing one another, foreheads touching. “Just always remember, you had a choice.” She closed her eyes as if she were attempting to wake up.

“Wait, Nia,” Solas blurted frantically, but it was too late. She faded away in front of him. “Ar lath ma, vhenan” he whispered, “Eternally.”

The Inquisitor awoke slowly, the last words Solas said ringing in her ears.  

 


End file.
